I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon or I had have a full one hour lunch break, and I'd just go home and nap. So - you my lucky reader, are the beneficiary of my lunch half hour today. Cross your fingers that I shan't be getting bad news today. She wants to talk to me about my lab results. :P
So... Now you know I don't go to Church anymore. I stopped taking the drug and now I'm a "Sense offender". The biggest question everyone asks me all the time is, "What about the body of Christ? Where are you going to get your fellowship? What about taking your daughter to Sunday school."
I get plenty of fellowship. If I wanted more fellowship I'd join a bowling league, or a chess club. Maybe a writer's guild. Yeah, if I only had time. Honestly, who wants to waste an hour at a snoozefest when I can just nap in my own bed on Sunday morning?
And let's be even more blunt; why would I attend a place of worship that isn't even worshiping what I believe?
Here are fundamental things that almost every church teaches that I don't believe.
1. The Immortality of the soul.
2. Eternal torment/Hell
3. The Trinity
4. The death of Christ (that he did not DIE)
5. The salvation of all (that all have been saved by Jesus regardless of anything they believe or do)
6. The doctrine of free will
Those are majorly key things that I just cannot pass on. Not only that but the Church is a man made institution. I just cannot tolerate ever being a part of such a thing again.
If I'm a part of the body of Christ, then how do I attend myself? LOL In that respect, "Going to Church" makes as much sense as telling my finger to "Go to Travis on Sunday"
And last of those... Why would I send my daughter to an institution that's going to confuse her with ridiculous junk?
A few weeks ago I posted a post responding to people who thought I was reacting out of bitterness or anger towards the ICOC because of my treatment there... this is what I said;
"I was thinking tonight and I realized I need to clear some misconceptions about me... When I refer to religion or faith based things many of you seem to be thinking that this is coming from a place of bitterness and anger within me from the abuse of my former cults.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Let me clarify. I left the cult in 2004. Not because I felt abused or angry. I left out of a sense of deep disappointment, recognizing the shallowness of that church was no different from the ones I'd attended before.
Yes I came to a period where I deeply grieved my past and regretted it. Now I do so no longer, but even during that period I attended a few other churches. Again, I left all of them because I was deeply disillusioned by their shallowness. Indeed there was little difference between these churches and the cult. They all subjected themselves to the doctrinal and moral authority of other men. They sought to PLEASE other people and not god. Their relationships were deeply shallow, their theology was beyond immature. Their faith was non-existent. They labored under guilt, shame and fear no less than I did in the cult.
I left Church permanently sometime in 2008. I did not believe I could find god in a church any longer. Believing that I could find him in a relationship FAR distant from tradition as possible.
As I said to someone else, I set FIRE to all my doctrine and theology, what remained would be only what was true. Sadly to say, nearly all of it was a complete lie in the light of the Bible.
So... Now.. Where do these opinions and thoughts come from? Yes, they're angry, but not at the people. I'm angry at a monolithic institution that would enslave people in a lie. I'm angry that people have a perverted idea of who my God is. I'm angry that people continue to live in fear, shame and guilt when grace is being preached.
This post isn't to argue anything or set up a debate with people. I'm simply clarifying where my heart is... so next time you say "Oh he's angry because a cult wounded him." No - I'm angry because I hate seeing people in bondage and sadly - I have to wait another eon or two before finally everyone is free... and freedom could be had today."
And now I've said enough for today ;)
Travis Penner
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