It's been a crazy day. From the beginning taking my CRV into Honda to get winter tires on, then off to doctor's appointments with my wife, and various other personal appointments of my own. I finally have a few minutes to sit down and write my thoughts before I'm on the go again... I have to rack my port, and then get ready to go out and meet another friend for supper and then to rehearsal for the play.
It seems I'm even busier than I was when I was at work sometimes.
Today I have another song in my head. "Joy in the Journey" by Michael Card.
Marriage is hard sometimes. There are easy blissful moments, and then there are valleys of doubt and decision. There are irritations, bumps and problems. There are moments when communication is lost and must be restored for all that's vital. Being out of a job seems to bring these to the fore.
Perhaps this is where men have midlife crisis. When they're face to face with themselves and realize their dissatisfaction with who they've become, or what they've done with their lives, and toss everything to the wind in a passionate scramble to change it.
I'm sure, now, that that's not the solution. Marriage, like much of life is an investment of time, energy, focus, patience, and most of all endurance. The pains and irritations we face can either be embraced or discarded. Yes, some things must be changed, but like much of life, some things can never be changed and must instead be accepted, lest we throw everything away and choose to suffer lives of emptiness and constant frustration. In this I think of a pearl, or a diamond.
A pearl is created by a speck of sand that irritates a oyster. A diamond is created by the stresses of the earth around it. Neither are created easily and without cost, but because of their stresses - they come out with something far more valuable and beautiful than what was first in place.
Isn't life, and marriage like that? If we choose to disregard and escape those pressures, at what cost do we do so? This is why I'm convinced that no relationship in our lives are disposable.
Yes, there are abusive relationships and circumstances that if can be changed, should be changed. Yet, as I said, not everything can be, and in many cases, maybe they shouldn't.
For me, life is a journey. Sometimes we can't tell our head from our asses, and we end up stumbling on the road ahead and ending up in a ditch. There are times when my head is up my ass, and I had no clue. Times like that, have only taught me to be more gracious to others who seem to have lost their minds, and their way.
But life is a journey, and if I can remember that, and remember that it's an eternal journey; there are greater rewards, and treasures up the road that will make today's hardships seem but a sigh. A slightly trying moment, because the rewards beyond this one are so much greater... I can embrace my irritation, my flaws, my stresses and let it change me... and create something far more beautiful.
Further on up the road.