Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 12

   This weekend was pretty quiet...  I spent all day Saturday sick with a stomach bug, and then Sunday I was off to rehearsal.  We have 3 weeks before tech week and then opening night...  There's still alot of work to be done.  And when the play goes up, I'm going to be so freaking busy backstage.

  I've been thinking this job loss has been a godsend.  It really is.  There is nothing quite like being alone with oneself.   There are no distractions.  No deadlines.  No co workers.  Sure, you're job searching and sending out resumes.  You spend a great deal of time alone though.

   Being alone forces you to face yourself...  Face to face with who you really are and who you've become.  And also who you want to be.

  Our hearts are the filter of our souls, I think.  All the crap that gets caught up in life gets caught there.  And with all those distractions, you can ignore it only for so long.  Every once in a while, something will shake it up and shed a little light on your heart.  Until we take time out away from all those distractions; work, TV, video games, and movies, you never really face your heart and deal with what's inside.

   I think that's why God has given us friends, family, husbands and wives.  After all, who can care for their own heart?  "As iron sharpens iron; so one man sharpens another."  Until we learn to bare our hearts to those close to us, we can never experience true intimacy.  Nor can we experience freedom, and truly embrace life.

    This is what I'm learning.  Sometimes the task is so daunting we don't want to face it and like the proverbial ostrich stick his head in the sand, we retreat from the task and all that's showing is our ass.  The problem is; you'll never find your life in the sand.

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