Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Evening of Day 4

And I - love this more than this more than life

   For the last few days I've had that one line running around in my head, over and over again.  Don't ask me why, I couldn't give you a solid reason.

   It seems to me, ever since I've lost my job, it's given me an opportunity to stand back and reflect on what's most important to me.  I've been a CAD technologist for 12 years.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it's just another term for a fancy draftsman.  I've drawn engineering drawings for Civil works for over a decade.  It's not my talent, but it is my skill.  It's not my passion, but it is my vocation.  I've earned a good deal of money for it.  By no means am I Donald Trump, but I live quite comfortably doing what I've been doing.  In the past 5 years I've gotten more migraines than I've ever had.  In fact, in the last 3 months alone, I've had a migraine almost every day.  Some. bad enough that I would go home halfway through the day for fear of being unable to drive when the full force of the migraine finally hit.

   Anyone who's had a migraine knows it's akin to being brain damaged for a few hours.  And indeed, I would come back to work and look at my drafting and wonder WTF I was thinking when I drew that the day before.

     But back to the lyric that's been running in my head.

   Losing my job may have been a godsend.  I've had time to breathe.  To reflect on my life, and appreciate it as it is.  Today, I spent some time writing on here, then exercising, then I took the dog to the vet to get her nails clipped because my wife asked me to.  I took the CRV in to get a chip looked at, because if it could be fixed, it would make my wife very happy.  (it couldn't, alas!)  I went for lunch with Brother in law for the first time.  Just hanging out, him and I.   I moved a wardrobe into a closet space that my wife's been wanting to do for, oh, 3 months now.  And finally, I went to Wal Mart to get groceries so I could have supper ready for my wife when she and her friend were done their work out.

    Nothing momentous.  Nothing world changing.  I didn't create world peace today, nor did I write the next great Canadian novel.  And no - I didn't design an award winning Storm Pond.  However, I found satisfaction in my life.

     I'm serious, I found that I was genuinely happy with my day and that everything I did made things better.  For my wife, and maybe my brother in law.  And most certainly for my dog.

     Allow me to go on a little bit longer...

    When I was a teenager, I was full of passion and wanting to change the world, if not convert the entire known civilization to the cause of Jesus Christ.  Now, I'm 34 and it seems to me that I find God created us for simpler things.  Maybe we all lose sight of that as we run around getting our jobs done and earning our pay cheques.  I live simpler now because I can't afford to spend more, and I realize, I never needed all those things in the first place, they were drowning out the most important things in my life.

     To simply be, to love my wife and my family, and to breathe the air God made and say, "This is good."

     So yes, I'm going to bed tonight after some time with my wife, and fixing the lights on my friend's car and am breathing happily and freely thinking.  "Yes, Today was Very Good."

    And I hope you do too.



  1. Great blog. Sometime we can't see the forest for the trees, get so caught up in our daily work lives that we miss out on "living".

  2. Enjoyed your perspectives Trav. I like this guy that I remember from his youth,with such passion. It is a constant struggle as humans to be in this world yet not of this world. Keep reminding us. Thanks.