Friday, October 22, 2010

Day 6

Well, now it's the 2nd week of my unemployment.  Being out from under the daily grind has really changed my perspective.

It's hard not to take it personally when you've been let go.  Usually when you leave a company, it's either because you chose to, or because they feel you did something wrong.  Either you didn't like the manager or the work.  Or they didn't like you, or your work.

When you're asked to leave because they can no longer afford to keep you on, it's a whole different ball game.  At first you start to wonder if that really was the case.  I thought back to what I did in the last few months, and realized there's nothing I could've done differently, except be even more bored than I was.

Then after a few days of being unemployed and not getting many calls, you start to wonder. "Did they blackball me?  What are my references saying?  Doesn't anyone see my resume?"

And when finally that passes, especially after I've gotten a few calls.  I began to realize.  This isn't the worst case scenario.  In fact it's an opportunity.

The worst case would be that I actually did something stupid, surfing porn at work for example.  Maybe even a terrible work accident like my CPU magically flying off the desk and crushing my chest.  Gremlins perhaps.  And I could be in the hospital on a respirator because of it.

Yes, so far, looking at it, this is a fantastic opportunity for change.  Maybe I'll find a new career.  If not, maybe I'll find a fantastic new company that's even BETTER than the one I left.  And maybe, just maybe, I'll finish this book I'm writing.

Now that I'm not working on drawings focusing on being an CAD Technologist and having my engineering cap on, I've managed to dust off my old artist's cap... And I'm finding it to be even more sparkly and magical than it was before.  When I sit down to write in my novel, it flows... like my muse is sitting right next to me telling me the story, and my fingers are typing as fast as the gingerbread man runs.

I find myself resenting distractions that keep me from writing.  I have to remember that those distractions are the very life blood of writing.  Without human interaction, what experience could I draw upon to write these stories?  Without those interruptions to my work, I'm certain I would become stale, lazy, and ungrateful for the times I CAN write.

I once read that writing cannot be created in a vacuum.  And I think it's true.  Great writing is like a diamond, I think.  And the pressures of life and bring it out.

So wish me luck.  I'm crawling into my sailboat, just a little bathtub, and voyaging across the sea of self doubt to reach the Island of story.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll make it there and you'll be able to see what my muse told me.

Wish me luck.

No comments:

Post a Comment